


That's How It Is Supposed To Be

by ren-mccullers (icannotthingaboutanythingthatshorrible)



Series: 4's and 1's [5]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: And a tiny bit of Smut, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 22:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9684011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icannotthingaboutanythingthatshorrible/pseuds/ren-mccullers
Summary: "It's ok, babygirl. You have me right here for whatever you want to do"Or4 things Alex didn't know and 1 thing Maggie wasn't used to





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes. And please point them out to me if you see them

_ Touch _

Alex had never liked intimacy, especially in the time she thought intimacy only started in the heat of the moments that would lead to sex. But after her party girl phase was long gone, after she had stopped giving herself to others desperately trying to feel something she now was sure she would never know, Alex Danvers had also noticed she didn't like to be touched.

The only exception was Kara and her parents, and maybe a 'hand on her shoulders’ from J'onn. But strangers? People she didn't know? People she knew but were not family? She would stay physically away from them. Even on crowded elevators and stores, she would always try to save the millimeters she could to not let her body touch other's, because her skin would tingle and her nerves would go on overload.

But when Maggie Sawyer hold her hands still so she wouldn't shoot every alien in that dive bar, she felt nothing. Not a single cell of her body responded with the necessity to pull back, and her own body let itself be guided to the nearest table.

Thinking about it later, Alex could blame in the fact that her brain was too preoccupied with the President's life to have time to think about it, even if in the years since college, her busy brain never had that kind of trouble before.

A few weeks later, she figures that she doesn't mind Maggie's touch because  _ if  _ she's actually gay, in the way she thinks she might be, she probably has a crush on her cop friend. Because that would probably explain all the effort to spend time with Maggie. And would also explain why her body had no response when Maggie unceremoniously held her hand when they were investigating Roulette.

Or better, her body had a response. It felt comfortable, at ease. So much that Alex had to check multiple times that she was indeed holding Maggie's hand, because it made no sense, she barely knew her. Right?

And yes, after talking to Kara and a bit more time remembering Vicky, she concluded that she did have a crush on Maggie and she didn't care to be touched at all by her.

What she didn't know was that the fact that she liked Maggie, really, really liked Maggie, had barely any weight on why she accepted her touch. Why her skin would shiver in pleasure and not tingle in agony.

As the time passed and the days of dating Maggie Sawyer were accumulating on her calendar, Alex started to figure something out, and her curious nature wanted to understand why her body had accepted Maggie since the first time she touched Alex. 

With a few experiments, her first hypothesis was because she thought their hands would fit perfectly. The way their fingers interlinked, the way Maggie would draw random patterns with her thumb was perfect. Maybe her body, her skin knew before she had realized it herself.

Or maybe it wasn't just her hands. Maybe it was because Maggie's whole body moved, or even existed, in way like it was meant to please Alex. As if the only reason Maggie's skin was that soft, that beautiful, that shade of dark, was because that exactly combination was what made Alex lose her mind, her ground, made Alex fly without moving her feet, as if Maggie was there for her, as if Maggie  _ wanted  _ to be there for her. And maybe the whole universe knew before Alex was even born.

Alex accumulated many hypothesis, one even closer than the other to the explanation she wanted. But ever since Maggie started to find excuses to touch her just because she wanted to, Alex kept one hypothesis in particular always in the back of her mind, always growing as the others didn't seem to be completely right.

It was on the way Maggie would ask what time was it, but instead of letting Alex answer, she would hold Alex's hand and check it herself. It was on the way Maggie would fix the collar of Alex's DEO uniform that insisted on being out of place, no matter where, or with who they were. It was on the way Maggie kissed her knuckles whenever she brought her flowers, or how Maggie would put a hand in the small of Alex's back to guide her as they walked.

It was in the way Maggie seemed to love and respect Alex since that first touch at the bar, even if none of them had any idea back there.

 

* * *

 

_ Kiss _

For Alex, kissing was just another step in the, sometimes short, way that would inevitably lead to sex. She had had enough experiences with guys on college to know that path back to back.

It would start with flirting, then light touches and if she was inviting enough, a kiss. First tempting (if you could call it that) then with more intention, hungrier, demanding more, demanding everything.

What Alex didn't know was that a kiss could hurt.

Well, not the kiss itself, but all the following events it brought, because hurting was the only word Alex could use to describe the first time she kissed Maggie.

The worst of all? It had tasted good. Perfect. It was soft and smelled like beer. And Alex had adored it, she had felt herself respond to it in a way she'd never done before.

And once in awhile Alex would go back there, once in awhile, Alex would revive that moment even if it still brought her to tears, because Alex had never felt more happy than in that moment. And if it was irony that this exact moment was when she had felt more dead inside too? She would take it. Because life was never gentle with Alex. It wasn't now that it would be.

A couple of weeks later, the memory would still sting, but Alex was capable enough, strong enough to be able to enjoy Maggie's company even if it still hurt.

Until it didn't.

Because when Maggie showed up in Alex's apartment late that night, kissing had a new meaning. It meant, probably, that Maggie liked her back and the sudden turn of events made Alex's head spin so fast she had to call it a time to make sure. And damn, she never thought Maggie, or anyone for the matter, could smile so brightly.

When her brain started to keep up with everything, even if it looked too good to be true and she could be getting crazy, the very first memory of kissing Maggie Sawyer came back with full force, and it seemed that her body could only remember how it felt, how it tasted and how it would probably be the same. Maybe even better.

Even though there was so many parts of Maggie that Alex wanted to know, wanted to understand, wanted to explore, her mind had settled Maggie's lips as a priority, and Alex happily obliged.

She would be lying if said she wasn't expecting more, because the kissing, the touches, it all led to one way, right? So when Maggie did nothing more than kiss her and hold her steady, when she seemed to enjoy doing nothing more than just kiss her and hold her steady, Alex was left dumbfounded, but didn't question it. At least not directly, because Maggie probably saw the question in her eyes and reassured her they wouldn't do more than just that.

As the days passed, Alex didn't do more than expect the usual path of the kiss to follow, but Maggie proved each day how much only kissing Alex was enough, that only kissing Alex was perfect, that only kissing Alex was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life if Alex let her, and Maggie would tell her just that. Each day.

Eventually Alex learned that kissing had many other paths, and the one that led to sex was only one of them, because a kiss could end up just there, as a kiss;  a kiss could end as a make out session in the couch; a kiss could end as a promise of seeing each other later; as a _see you tomorrow;_ as a _please, come back safe to me;_ as a _please, be mine for the rest of my life_ ; as an _Alex Danvers,_ _will you marry me?;_  And as a _yes, I will._

 

* * *

 

_ Cuddles _

Alex had always understood cuddling as something she did when Kara was sad, when Kara needed a break from the world and Alex was the family that would shield her from everything.

And Alex understood, at some point, why her sister liked it so much. She knew Kara just wanted to be held, to feel protected and Alex would provide just that. But after being with Maggie. Hell, after Maggie had simple swiped in her life, Alex found out she wasn't only built to protect others.

It started when Maggie put the alien trying to kill the president to sleep. Even after Alex had instructed the NCPD Detective to just take the gun and leave, Maggie had stayed and protected her, them, and later she even said they had made a good team. And she was right, it had been a good team, almost as good as Kara and Alex were.

But the thing with teaming up with Maggie was that they were more equal. Because with Kara, she would only watch her sister throw herself in the face of danger, even if Alex was right behind her, sending instructions and ready to get in action if she needed to.

With Maggie they were head to head and toe to toe. They knew how to investigate, how to fight, how to have each other's back and Alex started to feel protected in a way no one had ever made her feel.

The feeling of protection only grew as Maggie started to be more and more a part of her life. And when Maggie finally told her how much she just wanted to kiss Alex, Alex felt bare, naked and exposed, more fragile than she had ever felt but she wasn't scared, because that was Maggie and Maggie would protect her.

True to her words, Maggie did just that, in a way that suddenly Alex understood what was that thing about cuddles that Kara liked so much. Because as Alex was in doubt about how the night was going to end, Maggie just held her and kissed her neck while they lied on the couch, shielding her from the insecurities and the world's expectations.

Maggie also hold her when they were able to enjoy together those expectations and Alex got so overwhelmed some tears started to fall.

And Alex didn't know how she could feel so exposed and protected at the same time. No wonder why Alex became sort of addicted to Maggie's arms around her waist. She had found she didn't have to be strong all the time.

And when Kara made the same discovery, Alex didn't mind at all, because she knew better than anyone that a Protector wasn't made to be just a fortress, they were also a family, a home, they were someone who needed to be protected too and if sharing Maggie's safe arms with her little sister would mean one more person to look after Maggie, Alex couldn't see anything wrong with that.

 

* * *

 

_ Sex   _

The first time Alex had sex it wasn't like in the movies or like all her friends at school made her believe it would be. It was awkward and all over the place. It made her anxious, and she sworn to herself she wouldn't do it again until she was sure, even with her friends’ reassurance that it would get better with time.

It got better indeed. Back into college, it was good enough that she could get past it if she had had a few drinks, it was good enough that she could make herself believe she was enjoying it. Because she knew she needed it.

Not the sex, of course. What she needed was to not feel lonely, or actually feel anything other than that, or maybe feel something that wasn't distress for one night. And she sort of liked it, not the sex itself, but the attention, the flirting and she knew that having sex was what the guys expected after giving her enough attention, so she would give in, because she needed it.

What Alex didn't know was that, after being nearly 30 years old and almost giving up on feeling anything, she would find out what the movies and her high school friends were talking when they talked about sex.

She now understood the lingering stares, the goosebumps on her skin and the good nervousness in the pit of her stomach. She understood how it felt inevitable, because she wanted to discover more of Maggie's body, more of her skin. Simply more of her.

She understood the growing desire of kissing Maggie everywhere, to kiss her everything. And she understood even more the way her body would react to Maggie's touch, to Margie's lips. How it seemed to have a mind of its own.

At some point, her lungs weren't able to keep up with the way Maggie was descending on her body. And the pauses between kisses Maggie would take to tell her to breath, almost had the opposite effect, because the desire Alex could see in Maggie's eyes would make her lose her breath all over again.

She also understood the way her college roommate would always be so loud when her boyfriend stayed the night. Because if Natalie felt half of what she was feeling when Maggie held her clit between her lips, it would more than comprehensible.

When her moans and gasps turned into a weak call of Maggie's name, Alex understood what she was missing out until now. And it wasn't just the desire, but the intimacy of the act that she couldn't believe she was so afraid to feel, because, yes, she could feel something she’s never felt before building up inside her, and she sort of knew what it would mean.

And, yes, she was calling for Maggie because she was starting to panic, because it seemed a bit too much too soon. And Maggie knew, and Maggie stopped and crawled back to Alex and kissed her nose, her cheeks, her forehead and held her hands. Maggie said she was there, Maggie said that she wouldn't leave and she would be right there to catch Alex, but they could always stop, right here, right now if Alex wanted to.

“It's just… I never- Not with someone else… I never-”

“It's ok, babygirl. You have me right here for whatever you want to do.”

Alex’s body was screaming, twitching for something her mind thought she wasn't really ready for. But Alex gave in, she gave in without hesitation, in a way she never did before, because now she knew, now she understood what intimacy actually looked like.

And as Maggie caressed her hair to easy her sobs and tears, Alex was sure she never wanted to give up on this feeling again.

 

* * *

 

_Being heard_

One thing Alex never failed to do, was leave Maggie impressed. And what made Maggie even more impressed, was that she never stopped finding things about Alex to be surprised with.

It didn't matter if it was the almost contradiction of how tough Alex would stand on the field and how a bubbly mess she would become whenever Maggie did something more than just smile at her. It didn't matter if it was how Alex left her almost drooling when Maggie watched her dance for the first time. And it didn't matter if it was how much Alex would want to protect the people she cared about. Alex Danvers always left her impressed.

But one thing that kept surprising Maggie over and over again, was how true to her feelings Alex was. It even scared Maggie a little and never failed to leave her dumbfounded, because, for someone who had to suppress part of who she was to survive the cruelty of a small city (not that Maggie put much effort on that), for someone who had always put the other's feelings first so she wouldn't come across as borderline sociopathic and addicted to work, the way Alex expressed her feelings, left Maggie with her mind blank.

Alex was true to herself, true to her feelings and even after Maggie said they couldn't be together, Alex never hesitated on pointing out how much Maggie was wonderful, how much Maggie was amazing, and how much Alex liked her. And Maggie knew, these were nothing but truths because that's just how Alex Danvers is. Though, after Maggie had started to date Alex, and after Alex got used to Maggie dating Alex, her girlfriend surprised her even more.

It started when they had their first small fight and Alex told her to go away in the middle of the DEO. Later, when Alex called her to come over to talk and probably apologize, Maggie needed more than an  _ I'm sorry,  _ and Alex gave her just that. Alex gave her a full background and they ended up sharing secrets. But what Alex also gave her, was the feeling of being heard, of being understood, because when Maggie needed more that apologies, Alex gave it to her, and Maggie wasn't used to it.

The first time Maggie missed a date was also a surprise, because Maggie ended trapped inside a building with three other cops and a bomb. When the situation was under control and she could leave the place, the first thing she noticed was Alex showing her badge to the cops and walking towards her. Maggie froze.

Because if her past experiences where any indication, Alex would be pissed, and pissed enough to show up here and say the words Maggie was eventually waiting to hear. And even if Alex’s face showed no signs of anger, Maggie didn't let herself hope.

It was just how things played out. Maggie would apologize and promise to make it up to the girlfriend, until the girl figured she wasn't worth the headache.

But when Alex basically ran to her and held her in a tight embrace before Maggie could actually say anything, she almost let herself hope. Almost. Maggie knew she still had to apologise.

“I'm sorry I missed our date.”

Alex stepped back to look at her, an incredulous expression on her face. “It doesn't matter.”

It probably did.

“Still. I'm so-”

“Maggie. Are you ok?” She nodded yes. “Good. That's all I wanted to know”

Maggie stayed awake almost the whole night trying to process what had happened. Because after Alex had took her to the DEO to make sure she was ok, they went to Alex's apartment and ordered pizza.

Now, Maggie was lying in bed with Alex curled up to her side, and she was starting to get convinced that, indeed, nothing was wrong, even when she had missed a date. Maggie was not really used to it.

The first time they had a big fight was another surprise. Because of course Alex had some expectations about Valentine's day and Maggie had others, and two headstrong people usually fight over things, but this time was bad. This time Maggie thought it would be over.

What Maggie didn't thought was that Alex would stop talking loudly, would take her hand and sat her down on the couch, kneeling between her legs, and with one hand on each of her thighs, would look at her with something that Maggie could only describe as love, even if it looked to good to be true.

Maggie didn't expect Alex to ask her if she  _ could  _ explain why she didn't like Valentine's day. Maggie didn't expect being able to tell her the truth instead of just shrugging it off and give the reason to Alex.

Maggie didn't expect Alex to hold her hand and tell her they would stay in and order pizza, buy vegan ice cream and watch horror movies after Maggie had finished telling her the story. Because Maggie wasn't used to being listened to, wasn't used to being put first in a relationship. But Alex Danvers? She never ceased to surprise Maggie in the best ways possible.

And maybe, just maybe, Maggie could be getting used to be heard. So that's why she goes all her way to plan the most cheesy ass Valentine's day she could muster.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :3


End file.
